First we researched Atomic Fireballs. Then we made an ersatz candy version. The thing is, though, we live in Brooklyn. Everything needs to be grown on a rooftop and ethically sourced. Let's see if we can bring the Fireball back to its earthy roots.
(Yes, this is kind of a break from my attempts to make fake Science versions of everything.)
The obvious ingredient is cinnamon. Tons of cinnamon. Next up, something spicy, like a jalapeño. You can't just cram cinnamon inside of a hot pepper, though, so we need a bridge.
We settled on apples. Apple-cinnamon goes together, obviously, but apples and jalapeños?
I swear to god Apple Jalapeño Pie is a thing. I thought it was common and I thought people knew but I am being branded a liar left and right. APPLE JALAPEÑO PIE: JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.
Being Superbowl Sunday, we realized the perfect vehicle for apple-cinnamon-jalapeños would be bastardized jalapeñõ poppers, and that the perfectly horrific name would be Jalapeño-Apple-tomic Fireballs. And with that, we set to work.
First we need our apples. And our cinnamon. Chop up your apples into small bits and pop them into a pot with some sugar and cinnamon. Cook this.
BUT HOW MUCH CINNAMON? When I did this I put in an obnoxious amount of cinnamon, something like 1/4 cup, and paid the price for it. Start off with 3 apples and a tablespoon of cinnamon. If you want more cinnamon (which you should), you can always add it later.
So cooking cooking cooking, get this down into some sort of mush.
This is it in the beginning, all of my after pics are way more blurry. You'll have to use your imagination to figure out how solid to make it; you're looking to make sure it doesn't just leak out of your jalapeños.
Now it's time to prepare the peppers.
The inside of a pepper is the spicy part, so you'll want to get rid of that. Destem the jalapeño and slide down one side only until you can get the seeds and ribs out. This will prevent your guests from yelling at screaming at you, and I promise it'll still be decently hot.
Before I forget: preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
Have you ever tried to chew through a raw pepper? It's nice and crisp, sure, but that's hardly what you're looking for in our Jalapeno-Appletomic Fireball. Heat up a pot of water and boil the peppers in it for 5 minutes to soften them up.
Once they've cooled, it's time to fill 'em up.
Just stuff the apple-cinnamon filling in. No big deal, nothing fancy.
Once your oven is preheated, you'll want to pop them in for about 5 minutes. You can also broil them if you're careful, don't let 'em get too burned. We broiled because the oven refused to work in any other setting but maximum high death-and-dying heat.
And there you go! A deliciously sweet, cinnamony and spicy treat, straight from the 'good parts' of the grocery store. Eating this means you basically live on an organic farm. Welcome to the well-branded world of Jalapeño-Apple-tomic Fireballs.
Looking for a little more oomph? I was, too, which is why I turned to the adorably-sized habanero.
All I'll say is I probably should have spent a little more time and caution deseeding the habaneros.
1/2 cup sugar
1/4-1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons cinnamon (or more, probably)
1 dozen jalapeño peppers, sliced as above and guts removed
1. Dice up apples, combine them in a pot with cinnamon, sugar and water. Cook over medium-low. Add more sugar or cinnamon to get the sweetness and cinnamon flavor you're looking for. I love sugar and cinnamon so I put way more of everything in.
2. Preheat your oven to 400F (or don't, and plan to broil them later).
3. Set another pot of water on to boil. Once it's boiling pretty well, put in the jalapeños. Let cook for 5 minutes, then remove from heat and cool.
4. When the apple mixture is thickened to your liking, stuff it into the jalapeño peppers. Be careful about overfilling it, it'll make them tough to eat!
5. Bake the apple-filled jalapeños in the oven for 5 minutes, or broil until a little bit charred.
6. Allow to cool slightly and WHAM! Jalapeño-Apple-tomic Fireballs.